Tuesday, March 24, 2009 @2:07 PM
My New Year Resolution(s) - YR 2009
Haha, know its a little late as it is already the second quarter of the year. But of coz, its better late than never.
1. Good Health doesn't just come by praying. Haha. I shall be dutifully exercise, constantly have healthy meals and occasionally detox to improve my health.
2. Wealth doesn't come by just dreaming either. Kekeke. Less Shopping, more planning and less impulse buying!
3. To pass get degree-ded by 2009.
4. To spend more time with my family and loved ones
5. Buck up for work !!!
6. Get my house sold ?! (Haha, is this even considered a resolution ?? anyway ..... this can go into my wishlist)
7. Get him out of my life and mind TOTALLY
8. To improve my short-tempered-ness
9. To put in more effort in my current relationship
There, 9 resolutions for Yr 2009
Well, with resolutions, comes wishes too. *hint hint* My wishes on my last wishlist was almost a 100% come true, mostly contribution from my dd. Haha. Good work! :P
My Wishlist
1. All my loved ones to be VERY Healthy and VERY happy
2. Netbook (Lenovo / HP)
3. Damier Neverfull MM
4. Ipod Nano
5. A new Handphone
6. A lot of scrapbooking sprees !!!
Hee, thats about it for this year. Guess the most important one is Wish no.1
Have came to realise that having good health is really very important.
:)
@9:42 AM
Back at Work.
Sianz.
Was telling DD yesterday that I enjoy staying at home, surf surf net, play play games, watch watch TV, nap a bit. Haha. Who dun want right ? Anyway, he asked " you wouldnt bored meh ? ", like that means I cannot be tai tai already lo. :(
Anyway, went to see the MP last night to appeal to sell my flat earlier. Hopefully can get a favourable reply from HDB. If not, really very sian. Also gotten to know that I am unable to utilise the concessionary loan from HDB. Argh. Meaning, if I need to get a new flat, have to go throught normal bank loan, where the interest rate is higher lo. Sigh.
Really very headache where to buy. Somemore some place so expensive. How How How ?
Anyway, back to work. A lot of stuff waiting for me, both work and assignment.
BoooHooo.
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*** love nv fail to hurt pple ***
Wednesday, March 18, 2009 @9:37 AM
:)
Status Update: Cheryl is feeling good today! (& yesterday, i conquered the train ride all by myself ! )
Other than some complaints at work, everything was quite routined yesterday. Doing my stats report, (I have completed about 40% of the FS!) handle some pple's 找查. Thats about all for yesterday. Went home early, as wasnt really feeling well. But reached home, and I am fine already. Dd wanted to come over and accompany me after his appointment with the agent, but I told him to go home and rest for the evening lo. Do not bear for him to travel up and down for just that hr plus of meeting me. Was playing with Elthea, realised she like to French Kiss pple wor! Dunno where she learn from, but she is so cute. Haha!
Just now, dd told me he nearly got into a fight with some damn 挖土 hooligans, who seem to be drunk. Luckily nothing happened lo. Not sure what those baddies can be up to. Glad that my dd maintained his cool despite those stupid baddies trying to provoke him.
On a lighter note, its 2 more days! Yay! Off to sunway for a good tan and hopefully a fulfilling shopping trip!
Hope today can have a smooth day at work, and again, depression-free day!
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*** love nv fail to hurt pple ***
Tuesday, March 17, 2009 @10:12 AM
Morning!
Status Update : Today, Cheryl is feeling fine today! (Though for a brief moment yesterday, the "bad" hormones surge to a level which made me felt lousy again)
Nothing much happened, what to expect, it was Monday, with lots of work piling up, and to make it worse, class in the evening. Sigh. I did manage to drag myself to class, and even last the whole 3 hrs! *applaudes myself* I just thought that the least effort I should put in, is to pick up all the tips that the lecturer will give along the way. Next lesson, I am gonna bring my foolscap pad and start strategising for my exam. This time, I MUST make it. If not, most probably LL wouldnt wanna be my fren anymore *LOL*
As for work, currently got lots on hand. Upcoming in April will be the statutory audit, meaning before that, I would have to complete my FS and let my boss check. Sigh. There isnt much progress in getting the FS done, as I am stucked. Not sure if I should get a proper handover from my colleague, therefore do not really dare to bother her, but I really think, I need to buck up on this. Argh. Have set aside my time @ work today & tomorrow to work on the FS. Hopefully I will get it done, if not wholly, at least half.
Cut and highlighted my hair during lunchtime yesterday. Haha. Coz is sort of "preparing" my hair for length, so cut away my "feelers" (as dd said LOR) and I do admit I look sort of kiddish but anyway, let it grow lo. The highlight is rather obvious this time, BUT, they use bleach lo. Sob. Now I have several strands of DRYYYYYYYYY hair. Sigh. Its always like that, cant have the best of both worlds ma.
Shall get back to work.
Want a depression-free day!
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*** love nv fail to hurt pple ***
Monday, March 16, 2009 @10:21 AM
Good Morning!
Status Update : Today Cheryl is feeling GOOD!
Probably due to the upcoming getaway, cant help but feel excited about the coming friday. Hehehe. But one thing that I wish I can control is, I do not have to wake up so early. Sob Sob. Have to wake up at 6am, and leave house at 6.30am ?? In order to reach Lavender at 7.15am. OMG. Thats so early, as if I am going to school last time lor, secondary school which is like, 10 yrs ago. Wahahahha. I have aged BY A DECADE! :(
Talking about secondary school, there sure are a lot of cute memories. Puppy love, friendship, ECAs etc. (sidenote: yes, i belong to the ECA era, and not the CCA era) Recently have been meeting up with some secondary school frens. Sometimes, its really not up to you to decide your own fate. Imagine you tried so hard to make friend / talk to a particular person whom you think you really have a crush on, but no luck and you leave school feeling that its really not meant to be. But 10 years later, you actually find someone through these friends networking webby (i.e. Facebook) and then start talking like good old friends. Haha. Its really strange, but it happens, at least to me. The difference is, everyone has grown up, and the crush is no longer there. Which is what i mean by - some things are just not meant to be.
Visited little Del over the weekend. She is just so adorable. I held her for a little while, as dd needs to go for class. It certainly felt heartwarming. Like dd said, you just cant help but smile at the little angel even though she is just curled up, sleeping soundly. Hehe. I guess, that is the "power" of a baby ba. She certainly lightens me up. :) And on the way to the MRT, i got "hinted" by dd again, to have our own little baby. And then we started "formulated" many names for our future baby. Shan't reveal what the names are, hehe.
Dd's mum strike 4D and won a little $$. So Sunday's treat was on her. Went to this Seletar garden to eat Tze Char. Not that bad. The crab was quite nice, and the vegetable, too bad I was quite full le, if not, would have ate more of the veg. Hehe.
Had a depression-free weekend. Hope my many many upcoming weeks will be depression-free. :)
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*** love nv fail to hurt pple ***
Sunday, March 15, 2009 @11:30 AM
Cant help but need to blog about what I saw today. Not sure how he ended up adding me ? I thought I have to approve first ? Anyway, I saw his pictures taken in Taiwan, with his new Taiwanese girlfriend. Well, usually I am not someone who is mean in commenting on a girl's looks or what. But, today I am gonna be mean. You might think that I am being jealous or what, but frankly, I am not ! I am actually gloating inside me. Coz firstly, why do I need to feel jealous when its me who dumped him! Means that he is someone whom I do NOT want anymore. Ok, shall stop all these childish words. Anyway, I thought that he got himself smitten with someone sooooooooo pretty that their so-call LOVE blossom in a matter of 8 days ?? But, gosh, when I saw the pictures in his facebook, I cant help but laugh, was he even looking ?! Anyway, its not that the girl has 2 noses & 1 eye, but, she certainly doesnt look like she is in her 20s ? And whatsmore, she has curly short hair ! ( I thought a year ago, he dreaded that hairstyle ? hmmmm, another fact to attribute to his FAKO personality) Anyway, enough about him, and after much discussion @ the gym with Jane, I have decided to give him a nickname - Pineapple - coz its the fruit I hate the most! Dread even mentioning his name. Disgusting!
Anyway, I just wish to get the house sold, and he mentioned that he will seek the help of the MP. Good, at least, he needs to do something and not wait for the 50% of the share when I am the one, slogging and doing everything. Everything that my loved ones said about him, I am really beginning to see it lo. Looks like I should have taken a step back earlier, be more rational when it comes to him, and it would save me from slipping into depression ! Anyway, 3 days le, I am feeling ok. I hope I will not fall into the pit again, like on wed and thurs. It was real terrible.
Dedicated to DD:
DD, thank you for being by my side always. Though I could have prevented myself all these misery if I had heeded your advice earlier, but given my character, you know I wouldnt stop until I feel the pain. Thanks for being so patient with me. I am really very happy when I have you by my side. :)
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS.
Saturday, March 14, 2009 @5:01 PM
It seems like i am having the attacks again. Argh! Not sure what caused it, but i have been very well for the past 2 weeks, until last saturday. wondering could it be the drink that i had at halo bar on friday nite.. if it is so, then i definitely gonna get a scolding from dd, who tell me no no to alcohol, and only after a little persuation, he agreed to one. But i didnt finish the drink ma, not sure why. anyway the feeling suxs.
I am gg holiday-ing @ sunway next friday, woohoo, it will be a 3D2N trip, the longest getaway since the taiwan trip. hopefully this trip will be a "healing trip" for me, as i think i really need to heal, in order to be able to concentrate properly on my work and studies, and also v importantly, my current relationship. Just need to put in more effort lo.
I hope that through blogging again, i can release all my grunts and rants here, and be able to heal sooner and better. Dun want my love ones to constantly feel worried about me. Though they appear non-chalant bout me being depressed, but i am quite sure that they just do not quite know how to handle me with such a condition. Do not blame them, actually all i need is their companion.
Also, i feel that my condition will be better if i have dd beside me before i feel quirky. Coz if he is ard me, he will not let me slip into the dark pit. but when i am alone, i just free fall into it. useless bum me. 3 days ago i went to see DS, he looked at me with a kind of sympathise look, but i dun blame him, anyone would sympathise with one who just went through a divorce, and that was all i need to set my tears flowing. anyway, he gave me a very simple analogy of depression
He said that human body are made up of Happy and Sad Hormones. When i feel sad, the sad hormones will take over the body, and when i get sadder and do not snap out of it, the sad hormones will mutilply like nobody's business. After a prolonged period of this reaction in the human body, it will start to trigger panic and anxiety, and thats when the body starts sending wierd signals, causing all the unnecessary distress and eventually panic attacks and depression. hmmmm, sounds like its quite easy to find a cure, which is - happiness! But i feel happy now ma, with dd and many pple who love me. How come i still feel so shitty ? Maybe it a post-traumatic kind of depression, coz the earlier period, i was too traumatised by all the events ? Now, its like after everything sink in, then i start to feel the aftermath? I certainly hope these "after-action symptons" will go away faster.
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*** love nv fail to hurt pple ***